It's like Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzah all mixed together!

I promise that it is NOT a secret wish of mine to be a book reviewer, but I have to share my excitement that Augusten Burroughs has finally written a new book. Who? He's the one who wrote Running with Scissors which is pretty famous but not really my fave. I found out about him a couple of years ago and made the mistake of devouring his books like there was no end to them... except there was and then I was forced to check his website in hopes of the new book.

The new book, A WOLF AT THE TABLE, came out today and even though I had a BORING workshop about science today, I stopped at Barnes to get it (Don't even let me start talking about how this workshop was in a disgusting building in Garner and how my friend Cheyney just went to a work-related-conferencey-thing in CHARLOTTE... Wake County is tops with creative destinations).

I am having to really pace myself with this book because I want to read it all tonight but then I'll be left to re-re-re-read my other favorites so I know I need to go slowly

Anyway, if you haven't picked up one of his books, you might should. His ability to tell stories and use words is amazing esp. since he didn't even go to High School. I'd start with anything other than Sellevision or the cliche Running with Scissors just so you can really know what he's about without reading his first published book or his most famous. Plus, since Running with Scissors is a memoir of a pretty sick childhood it is not for the weak of eyes.

Now it's David Sedaris's turn to write a new one.

The News is Out

I have spilled the beans on the little bean. I sent a letter home to the parents in my class and we are revealing the news about the little Velasquez to the kids tomorrow. We have some fun stuff planned to make the day fun and special. Glad to be able to eat like a crazed woman now without people feeling like they need to chip in for a Jenny Craig gift card for me!

NPR Tried to Kill my Friend

I have always been unexplainably wary about National Public Radio (hereafter to be referred to as NPR) but my worst nightmares about this evil were confirmed when they tried to kill my friend Cheyney.

As far as I can see, the only saving grace for NPR is David Sedaris but anyone who knows David Sedaris knows that he doesn't drive. So, listening to NPR while sleepy is not hazardous to his health -- it was to Cheyney's.

She had unwisely chosen NPR over booty music (her term, not mine) and was lulled to sleep for a nano-second by the intellectual conversation on her radio whilst driving. Details aside -- she careened into another vehicle. No one was hurt, but how much do you wanna bet that NPR is not sending a card around its offices for its employees to sign wishing her car a speedy recovery?

In conclusion... when driving in your car we have learned a vital lesson to listen to tunes rather than mind-enriching materials. Sir Mix-a-Lot did not spend hours writing and in the studio producing quality hits like "Baby Got Back" to have you fall asleep at the wheel -- he spent them so you could ROCK!